Day 38: Aunt Billie - 31km

Remi’s in Saint Antonin to Jean & Margo’s in Saint-Bruno

We left by 8:30 this morning, it’s easier to leave when we all get up around 6am. And we’ve started leaving the horses boots off for the first 1 to 2 hours, which saves about 20 minutes. A stunning ride through Saint-Joseph and down the 230. It started off residential, and then slowly transformed into farm land.

“My idea of Quebec was so small before. Just my little Montreal, or Saint Sauveur. Now, as I’m passing beautiful fields with mountaints in the distance, a Quebec flies and it means so much more. So much greater and larger than the tiny world I associated with as Quebec. I expect the same to be truth with Ontario. Ontario is far more expansive than Grimsby, far greater than my insignificant experiences Day

within a town, a town I defined in realtion to me.”

Some thoughts I wrote down, feeling smaller than ever, but in a good way. I feel my appreciation for this Country, this land, as well as my gratitude to be growing greater daily.

I cannot describe the beauty, but I’ll try.

The sky is that deep bright blue, when the sun near meets the highest point in the sky,

Leaving a fade of pale blue till the sun’s light causes small specks to cloud my eyes.

From our vantage point, it’s like the earth rounds below our feet, giving the perspective of infinit land around us.

Soft, lush, organized fields stretch out, groomed and trimmed.

Small dirt roads, the center line overgrown with long grass, disappear into thickly wooded pine lots.

Farm houses of all colours, deeply sloped tin roofs on either side

Fresh laundry flapping in wind that keeps the bugs at bay.

Wind that’s loud enough to block the running thoughts from entering my head.

Wind that lets me feel and experience this view before my eyes.

To my right, the mountain scape stretches as far as I can see, jagged and changing, depth seen by the different haze of blues in which the mountains appear.

I cannot see the river, but feel it below where the earth dips to hold the water.

From this altitude, I get the feeling of passing through, almost above this landscape.

I picture the first settlers here.

This paved road once a dirt road.

The perfect fields, once wild trees and bush.

Mostly I feel happy.

Overwhelmed with a feeling of pride and joy and absolute bliss to be in this moment.

To be grateful for the choices I made that led me to this moment.

That whatever it is I set out to find on this journey,

For a moment, I’ve found it. I can’t help it when tears stream down my face. I allow myself to be overcome by the beauty of it all.

For all the tears of sadness there are tears of joy,

And sometimes they feel almost the same.

Or maybe it’s just the allowance of the emotion that feels good.

I am not separate

But apart of each place I pass.

A welcome visitor

An included participant and a grateful observer.

It is a good day to be alive.

We ride for Aunt Billie

And I feel her in this expanse of blue skies and green hills.

I feel the independent woman she was.

The one I’m trying to be.

I guess I would sometimes misjudge her solitude.

Thinking she’d be lonesome having never been married or with kids.

And perhaps she was,

Or perhaps she enjoyed moments like these

Took solace in the company of the beauty around her.

I’ve found sometimes it takes being alone to experience the companionship of nature.

The further we go each day,

The longer this trip lasts

The more I can feel myself come to terms with who I am.

Who I was

And get a better image of who I’d like to be.

Though for now,

Since all that past or future is out of my control.

I breath in the smell of sweet cherry blossoms and lilacs

Feel the wind on my face and the sun warm me from the outside.

Aunt Billie was a very independent woman.

And on this trip, we've all had to be independent.

We've also had to learn when to ask for help, when to accept it, and when to carry on on our own.

It was a very special day for me,

and even more special to walk in honour of Aunt Billie,

I feel I've learned and grown more because of her.